I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
