Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
