do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
