U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I fill condoms, not promises.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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