Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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