i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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