Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
