if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
