She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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