Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
