I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This is my gift to your gina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
