Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
