Me too!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
That was before I lit my hair on fire
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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