Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
