So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
