shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
