when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
