so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
