Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i think my cat just said my name.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
