Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
