One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
