I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
