Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
