What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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