i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
