Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
