i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
