At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
accomplished twins. life is a go
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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