It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
