that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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