I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
50% drunk capacity currently
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
