I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
