nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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