i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
