I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
