Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
