wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
