It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
