..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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