I want to walk on stilts...naked
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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