It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
