I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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