They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Randomize
