1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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