I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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