i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
