He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
