if you like me you must not know who I am
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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