have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
