I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
